Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
