He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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