gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
