Well apparently he's into motor boating.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
