we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
