I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
