The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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