He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I touched a dick in church today
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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