ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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