Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
