If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
