Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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