i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I believe in your delicious
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
