It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
