Acid is not a monday night drug
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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