So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
