I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize