What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
