threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
