I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
