Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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