Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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