...so i touched it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you win again, gameday.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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