shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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