Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
