There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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