1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How naked do you want me to be?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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