Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
