No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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