I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
