If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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