it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
