he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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