Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
