Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
