I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
