During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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