Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
