This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
