The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
