This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
