So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
