How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
