It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
