Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
