Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize