Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
