He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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