and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
