So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
