what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Acid is not a monday night drug
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
