I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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