Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
