I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
