Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at about main and main street
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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