i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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