I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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