can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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