Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So squirting runs in the family.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
